I recently renamed this blog The Re-education of Brigit Delaney, and an event just happened that gets at the very heart of why I need that re-education: Twitter shadowbanned me. Now, if you don’t know what shadowbanning is, it basically means I’ve been sent to the corner for bad behavior and people can’t search me by my @BrigitWrites handle. Someon either reported me or somehow my naughty pics or hashtags caught their attention and they are now slapping me hand. The shadowban can last 12 hours or 12 years. It’s totally up to them. Yay, censorship, right?
The thing is, I don’t post much naughty content. I mean…I try to make sure my blog forward images are pg-13 or just sorta kinda R. No x-rated. Yes, I cuss, but not all tha much. I try not to get too political. I censor my goddamned self to make Twitter happy. I even went in and deleted pics and tweets hoping I would be unshadowbanned.
And then May More noted that I’d fallen right into their little censorship trap…here’s what she said to me:
“so u see the behaviour modification from the sban worked on u 😉 – i would just carry on as normal – it can be many reasons. Too many RT’s , someone could have reported you – the twitter gods wont tell you x”
She pointed out a characteristic that I find rather disconcerting in myself. I censor myself quite often. I stay quiet because I don’t want to offend. I keep things to myself. I show the less gritty images, say the less crass thing, avoid the “dirty” in favor of the tastefully “erotic.” Why? Because I want to be acceptable. I want to be accepted. I want to be more than accepted…I want to be celebrated. And yet, I hide and keep most of what I want to say out loud to myself.
Now, partly, I have to do this to keep my job and my place in my community. And there is a time and place. But this blog…when I’m alone with my husband…those are times for expression and truth, no matter how uncouth.
I seriously only drive 5 miles over the speed limit. I rarely even tell a white lie. I once forgot to pay for my drinks at a bar and I went back the next day to pay, apologizing profusely.
I am not a naughty girl, in most respects. In fact, the fact that I keep this blog is plain amazing. And it’s obviously because that naughtiness in me needs an outlet.
And since I have it…I need to use it.
So, since Twitter is being mean and doesn’t seem to like my naked tweets, I’m doing it this way instead. I wouldn’t want you all to miss a single day of these boobs.
That is all. Carry on. I’ll be back later with a book post. And quite likely some more pics, because this IS a naughty blog after all, and Twitter has inspired me to rebel and stop censoring myself in anyway. Thanks Twitter, you bastards.