1. What do you need to learn but won’t admit to?
Well, obviously, if I’m writing it here, I’m willing to admit to it, right? But, I guess I’d say, I need to learn to be a better human. I’m not great at relating to others, creating and keeping friendships, maintaining relationships…that sort of thing. People tend to overwhelm me. Quite honestly, most of the time, I’d rather spend my time with animals and books. But, when it comes right down to it, I’d be a mess without a few important people in my life. I need love…and human contact…so even though I suck at human-ing, I know I need humans in my life.
2. If you could erase one event from your life, which one would you choose? Briefly describe the event, tell us why you would erase it.
This one is hard, because I have quite a few events I’d like to erase from my life. I know that everything I do and everything that happens to me leads me down the path to where I am today, so even the crappy stuff is important and sometimes necessary. But, really, there are some shitty days I’d love to remove from my memory, and some shitty things that I’ve done. The most recent is when I lost my mind and threw a can during a fight with my husband. And then I said a whole slew of not nice things as he walked out the door. Yeah…I’d like to erase that event. I’d like to erase all the events where sorry wasn’t good enough.
3. Who drains your energy, and why do you let it happen?
My parents. And why? Because they’re my parents.
4. Do your practice ‘self-love’ or ‘self-loathing’?
I try to “practice” self-love (through yoga and meditation and writing and nutrition etc., etc., etc.), but honestly, I do quite a bit of self-loathing by disliking parts of my body or my personality and blaming myself for pretty much everything that is shitty in my life.
5. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’?
I follow a routine. I get up. I have coffee. I read. I create a list of priorities. I check that list throughout the day. I try to write. I take some time to sit and do nothing. I go to yoga. I pet the cat. I pet the dog. I try to eat well. I take medication. I focus on breathing through it all.
Bonus: Who do you blame?
Sometimes my parents. Sometimes the random asshole in traffic or at the store. Sometimes my husband. Sometimes my child. Sometimes my boss or my colleagues. Most of the time: myself.
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