Jaime scrolled down through the menu of options on the local newspaper’s website, looking for the online classified ad purchasing options. It was a weird ad to post, but she’d been thinking about it for some time. After years of trying option after option, it seemed less a desperate last attempt than the smartest thing she should have done months (or even years) ago.
Kurt had been unhappy for much of their marriage. It wasn’t that she was a terrible wife, but she’d turned out to be less the wife he’d hoped for and more the wife one became as a result of constant exhaustion, and insidious complacency. She’d become boring.
But Jaime was so out of the habit of being the “right” woman for Kurt, that she couldn’t even remember what she’d done to catch him (and keep him) in the first place. Books and podcasts and websites just hadn’t provided her the personalized “coaching” that she needed…nor the motivation to keep at it. And Kurt was so used to being disappointed by her half-hearted attempts that he no longer even seemed very receptive.
Though she felt this ad was making an odd request that was unlikely to lead to any real, good leads, the possibilities were too interesting to let the idea go without at least trying.
When the paged popped up for Jaime to type her ad, she took a drink of her coffee and titled her ad:
“Married woman seeks man to help her become a better wife.”
In the text box below that, she typed her message:
“I’ve been married over ten years. Somewhere along the way, the spark was lost. I’ve read and researched myself right into a corner, but nothing I’ve found has really worked. These Cosmo Magazine lists and “what your man really wants” books aren’t realistic and aren’t working. I need help that is tailored just for me, from a man who knows what men want. What I need most are actionable directives that I can carry out on a daily basis. I need direction. I need to be told what to do. If you’re the man to do it, please contact me.”
She saved her ad, paid her fee, and sent her request into the internet abyss, crossing her fingers and praying that something would come of this. Somewhere, in front of another screen somewhere, there just might be a person reading her ad who would think to himself, “I know just how to help this woman.”
To be continued…
P.S. For anyone who has read my blog for any length of time, you know this is the beginning of a fairly autobiographical story. I’ve fantasized about this sort of thing for awhile. Having another person, namely a man who “gets it” and knows just how a marriage can stagnate…maybe even a man who’s been through it, to help me navigate my way back to being the creative, adventurous woman that my husband fell in love with…well, it would be amazing. The interesting thing about it being a man who’s been through it…or is going through it…is that he’d be able to tell me just what he wishes his own wife would do (or have done)…those realistic things that husbands would love for their wives to know, but rarely tell them. I get a lot of this sort of information by reading blogs written by married men in unfulfilling marriages. But, those are glimpses. And what I’d love is a daily dose of inspiration and direction from a guy like this. I imagine one of two types of guys (or both!). A Dominant, who guides me as a submissive. Or a regular Joe who just wants to be heard and share his desires and needs with someone who will listen. In fact, I could see it becoming like a backwards advice column, where men simply email me their suggestions and ideas.