• Blogging & Writing,  Experience

    “Fuck, Blog, Run” – My goals for 2018

    I’ve read a fair amount of self-help literature that focuses on writing a VISION for your life…where you want to be…WHO you want to be…WHOM you want to be with…why…how…etc., etc., etc. And, much like visualization and guided imagery, I do truly believe that this is something that can manifest what we want most in our lives. Creating a vision begins with considering priorities and goals. I am trying to keep my priorities simple and focused and my goals specific and achievable. Priority #1 – I WANT AN *AWESOME* MARRIAGE: My ONE THING = FUCK — I want very much for my marriage to get back on track…which means, first…my…

  • Books & Reading

    My top reads of 2017

    I’ll admit it (though with a hint of embarrassment, I guess) that I read quite a bit in the genre of self-help…or memoirs that deal with growth, change, enlightenment, etc. I don’t do it because I am lost or helpless or hapless or guileless. I do it because reading a good memoir makes me feel connected to the writer. I feel like I can learn things from the experiences of others. And reading a good piece of self-help can lead me toward epiphanies I may otherwise not have had. Sometimes I’m looking for an answer. Sometimes just inspiration or a connection. Let me make a quick distinction, as well. A…

  • Brigit's Favorite Things

    My top 3 blogging superheroes

    #1: Marie Rebel Marie Rebel of Rebel’s Notes and the curator of Wicked Wednesday has been an inspiration to me for some time. She was one of the first sex bloggers I followed, when I started this gig in 2010, and her’s was one of the first memes I got involved with. As I have disappeared and reappeared again, she has always been there to welcome me back, encourage me (as a writer and as a person), and somehow finds the time to do so for so many other bloggers. She is a true icon of this writing community, and she amazes me. Through all of her own personal struggles…

  • Experience,  Photography

    Unsuccessful blow jobs and sexual frustration

    Last Thursday, I set an intention to surprise Mr. D with a welcome home blow job. Of course, it didn’t go down as planned (see what I did there?). This was the initial plan: Just do it. No words. No explanation. Just take his hand and lead him into the bedroom. Lock the door. Unbuckle his belt. Unzip his pants. Don’t even worry about his shoes. Just pull down his pants and underwear and wrap your hand around the base of his cock. Lick the underside slowly, take it…flaccid…into your mouth and bring it to life with the heat and soft movements of your tongue. Once it’s awake, and well-lubricated…

  • Photography

    In the Mirror

    It’s my birthday. I’m 41 today. And well…time has done what she could (along with my help…and some of my own abuse) to tear this body down. But, it is strong enough. And the marks it bears are the story of my life. Sometimes, I love what I see in the mirror. Sometimes, I really don’t. Today, I’m at peace with it. This is what age and childbirth have created. This is a gift. There is softness. There are curves. There are stretch marks and tattoos. There are scars and imperfections. Rolls and bumps, and creases and wrinkles I sometimes wish I didn’t have. And yet, every one of them…

  • Experience,  Poetry

    A four-poem year

    I like to keep the things I write so I can go back and consider who I was when I wrote them…at a distance…like an anthropologist. It is easier to investigate my faults from space rather than in the midst of committing them. Today, I went back and read the four poems I wrote this year. Yes, it’s been a four-poem year, which attests to the emotional drought that I have been living in. Usually, they pour forth, no matter how shitty or rough. But this year, the universe kept them in reserve – I’d like to think it was so I wouldn’t bend and twist the words to create…

  • Experience

    When the dark gives way to the growing light

    Several months ago, in a marriage counseling session, the counselor said something that resonated enough with me that I still remember it today. It was along the lines of, “Partnerships like marriage are meant to help you grow and change into a better person. The fact that it isn’t as easy to leave is what keeps you there during the hard times, but the work you put in to stay and develop is what curves your edges and builds you up.” Now I’m sure anyone could say the exact opposite and make it sound just as likely. After all, keeping marriages afloat is this woman’s bread and butter. I chose…

  • Experience

    Who knew I was a marathon girl?

    I haven’t run an entire 26.2 in one go, but I have walked/ran/jogged, choked/limped/heaved my way through three half-marathons…and trained for each one of them like someone told me I could never do it. That sort of resolve, at least for me, has to come from a place of gritty determination – bordering on anger and a kind of “I’ll fucking show you, you bastard” resolve. I’ll be honest…I’m not a big fan of running. I don’t like coming home from an exhausting day at work, longing for a stiff drink and passing it up for my running shoes. And the first mile just feels like I weigh 300 pounds.…

  • Fiction

    Unadorned

    It had been a hard day. He’d wrapped up several loose ends on some old cases, completed hours of paperwork, returned dozens of phone calls, and grinned and nodded to too many directives from his superiors. He was ready to get the hell out of traffic, pull in to his driveway, and shut the world away for the evening. As the garage door closed behind him, he gathered his things and hefted his weighed-down frame out of his car. The smells from the kitchen greeted him well before he opened the door to the mud-room. He smiled and just barely started to let his day go. The mud-room was part…

  • Experience

    Awakening 2

    My husband and I have been living in 1600 square feet like neighbors who share land. Every once in awhile we cross each other’s boundaries to talk, argue, maybe kiss and make-up for a few days. But the passion has been on hiatus, off and on, for years. The night before last, something shifted. Our boundaries got muddled. A storm raged through, threatening to take both of our homesteads and wash them away. But, neither of us was willing to stand down. We both grabbed buckets and shovels and started sandbagging our shared property. See, we may have often simply been neighbors or roommates rather than lovers or even husband…

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