He likes to watch me masturbate. But I hate being watched.

If He tells me to do it, though, I can’t say no. It would be against the rules.

It makes me uncomfortable to be so open and vulnerable. So “on display.” But, then. I’m His to display as He wishes, right? If He wants to gag me with my own shirt to keep me from crying out, and then asks me to close my eyes, bite down, and slip my hand into my panties, I’ll suck back my pride (because I shouldn’t have it, anyway, should I?), feel the heat in my cheeks (both sets), and begin to rub my clit.

Image source: MasturbationMonday.kaylalords.com

He won’t accept that for long, though, will He? He’ll know I’m holding back. He’ll sense it, and He won’t like it. And as much as I don’t like being on display…the humiliation of being watched…I like disappointing Him even less.

So, I’ll do what He asks. I’ll slip my fingers inside of myself, and though I won’t forget He’s there, reclined, relaxed, and amused, I will begin to enjoy myself, if only because it’s easier to come that way, which will get it all over with faster. Because, see…He’ll know if I’m faking. And He wouldn’t take kindly to a lie.

I’ll go deep into my head, recall something arousing…I’ll imagine my fingers are His dick, and I’ll feel the heat and weight of him on top of me. I might moan a bit as the image takes over. With Him so close, I’d be able to smell Him, and that would help keep me in the place that allows me to hide.

But He’d figure out my trick. And He wouldn’t let me fall back on it for long.

He’d make me open my eyes and look at Him.

He’d make me face His challenge.

He’s benevolent, though. He might help me. He might place a vibrator on my clitoris while I worked my fingers in and out, feeling the wetness multiply, soaking through the satiny fabric.

He might have mercy on me.

But he might not.

He might pull the vibrator away, tell me to remove the wet panties, and command me to present.
He’d probably tell me to keep touching myself, so he could watch me from a different view. This one, even more vulnerable…my ass cheeks in easy placement for a smack, my asshole exposed.

I know Him well. He’d have to touch it. He’d maybe lick his forefinger, insert it into my asshole to the second knuckle. Hell…He’d probably go all the way, fucking me with it, slowly.

And I’d have trouble concentrating on my own movements. I’d slow down, maybe even drop my hand away from my pussy.

But, He wouldn’t let me stop. No, He’d still be watching.

He’d pull his finger out. And, knowing it would drive me mad with embarrassment, he’d lick my asshole. He’d make out with it as if it were my mouth, tonguing me, loving to make me squirm with discomfort.

He likes to make me squirm…to make me uncomfortable.

He’s looking for my limits.

He’s mapping them out…keeping track of every curve, harbor, inlet, and peninsula of thought, fantasy, and fear. So He can use them.

He’s a very observant man. A detective of sorts. And He misses nothing. Forgets nothing.

I find that terrifying and exhilarating all at once. That He knows me so well. That He cares to. That He can tell me to do something as simple as shove my shirt in my mouth and masturbate for Him. And that He knows I’ll do it.

No matter what.

5 Replies to “Masturbating for Him”

  1. Yah…and He reads everything I write…so He's got a pretty good handle on my internal fantasy world (even though He thinks I'm somehow hiding my deepest fantasies from Him).

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