So once, at a swingers meet and greet, a guy told me that every woman is just a few drinks away from her first kiss with another girl.
Hmmm…I’m not sure if that is true, really (maybe it was just his “hope” talking). It certainly was for me. But, for others? I refuse to presume what others want or don’t want…but in my opinion, we’re all pretty fluid, if we are truly honest with ourselves.
Honestly, I think society (nurture) has had a greater impact on our psyches than (nature), which seems to get beaten out of us at every turn. We’re told exactly what to think, how to feel, what to believe, who to love, who to trust, who to stay away from. And interestingly, we still have addiction, behavioral and mental disorders, and people act outside the “cultural norm” all the time – even when punishment for it is imminent.
Can’t fit yourself into the main stream – one-on-one – man and wife – nuclear family with a two-car garage, 2 1/2 kids, and a dog – stereotype? Don’t worry, very few of us (if any) can. Taking a virtual walk down the aisles of the personal ads on Craigslist; you’ll see a never ending supply of people seeking “something else”, something “new”, something “dangerous” or “naughty”. Married men offering to suck cock, women looking for gang-bangs or hoping to fulfill rape fantasies with a stranger, couples looking for a single woman or man, men asking for used underwear….all with the promise and request of complete discretion. You name it – there is a fetish for every day of the year, and hundreds of people to revel in each one.
There is no way to judge another without first judging ourselves. So, really, it’s best to avoid it. If no one is being harmed (i.e. everyone involved is a consenting adult)…it really shouldn’t matter to anyone…and the more it matters to a person, the more likely it is that transference is the real problem.
I don’t like to call myself anything. I’m not really bi-sexual…because I don’t have sex with women on a regular basis, and I prefer men. I’m not really a swinger…because I haven’t really committed to the “lifestyle”. I do what I want, when I want. Hot chic? I’ll fuck her. Sexy group of couples, I’m in! Sexy time alone with my one-and-only? Absolutely…he’s my soul mate; that’s why I said, “I do.” And I can truly say that I am thankful to have such an open, honest relationship where we can discuss ALL of our desires – even if they make us feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
Labels are almost always inaccurate, and they tend to not only categorize us unfairly, but they also sometimes make us feel or act a certain way that we might not without them. I don’t like to be pigeon-holed. And I don’t like feeling guilty for natural desires (and really, all desires are natural – as we are all produced by nature)…whether they are right or wrong or not – well, that is a personal decision).
To me…sex is a feeling – pure sensation. As is love. Neither can really, fully be explained…nor should it. There is a certain magic in not being able to define humanity. There is wonder in not knowing. Best to just live life, enjoy the opportunities when they present themselves, and stop questioning so much whether it’s right or wrong.