The Taming of the “Screw”: why technique matters

Okay, so I didn’t get around to posting on Saturday.  My weekend got away with me.  And even when I did have time, the conditions were not right.  So here it is Monday – such a grand and glorious day.  The conditions are still not necessarily right, but it’s quiet enough now, so I’m going to take advantage of it.

A few posts back, I considered the issue of size – and whether or not it really matters.  I suppose for some women it does (or at least appears to matter).  I’d like to posit that it isn’t really the size, it’s the technique.  As long as a guy has got at least an average sized penis, he should have no problem getting his girl off.  I think where some men (and therefore some women) get it wrong is in assuming a big dick will always hit the G-spot just because it’s big.  And it’s true…a larger penis can sometimes manage to hit the G-spot without really trying.  Simply because of it’s length and girth, it fills the whole cavity and just by chance manages to rub the right spot, but the problem is that it slides over it – past it – without actually hitting it.  I guess if a guy goes in and out enough times at just the right speed, he’s bound to eventually get at least some positive reaction.  But, even with a big dick that manages to hit the spot, it doesn’t do much good if he forgets the clitoris.  A shameful amount of men forget this amazing little button.

I can get off with nothing but clitoral stimulation (no need for penetration – though it’s nice and often much more satisfying).  On a busy night or a night I’m just flat ready for bed, grabbing my trusty “egg”, placing it on my clit, and rubbing it around it while tightening my thigh muscles can almost bring me to orgasm (internal and external) every time – unless I’m really stress or over-tired.  And then it’s just an exercise in futility and frustration.  And since clitoral stimulation is so easy, why wouldn’t every man focus his attention here?

Probably the easiest way for my husband to make me come involves his very skilled tongue and his fingers.  First one finger, gently, just barely entering before exiting.  His tongue flicking my clit softly and slowly.  Then two fingers, more vigorously, his whole mouth on my clit, sucking and licking.  If I’m really wet, 3 fingers.  But, two seems to be the magic number for me, curved upward very slightly in the direction of my navel.

For sex to really (quickly) make me gush all over the sheets, it’s all about position.  Some people like to use pillows to raise a woman’s pelvis upward.  It makes hitting the G-spot easier.  I’ve found that when my husband bends my knees up around my head, thereby rolling my hips up in the air, he hits it every time.  Plus, it allows him to go deeper.


This one seems to be the clear winner in our bed.

Pushing in deep works better if a man isn’t huge.  If you bottom out, it doesn’t necessarily feel good.  Maybe it does to some women, but to me – it just hurts.  I had a hysterectomy several years ago, so my “cut off” is maybe shorter than it used to be, and men who are too big just don’t give me pleasure.  Their penis’ go straight past the mark, right to the end of the road.  Dead end.  A shorter penis, especially one the curves upward a bit, will slip right in where it is supposed to.  I’ve found also, that a penis (or finger, or vibrator….) that just barely touches the G-spot can be even more intoxicating.  It’s the growing frustration and the wanting for more that does it.

When I asked my husband about important technical moves, he mentioned leaning forward and grinding into the pubic bone to ensure a good rubbing of the clit during penetration.  Changing rhythm, position, and speed is important, too.  Climbing on, shoving it in, and humping is more primal than it is sexy or satisfying.  I’m not saying there isn’t a place for quick and dirty sex.  But, if genuine pleasure and a sopping wet orgasm is the goal, it’s best to slow down and think about your moves.

Every woman is different.  But, the G-spot is in virtually the same spot on all of us.  Let me see if I can explain:  if I stick my pointer finger inside my pussy as far as it will go, curve it slightly up toward my navel, there it is.  There isn’t a bump or anything to say, “Here I am…hit me with your best shot!”  It just feels good.  It’s like hitting a very good nerve.  And it tends to get the juices flowing freely when it is played with.  Now depending on the length of a woman’s waist to pubic bone, it could be further in than on some of us (mine’s about 5 or 6 inches below my belly button Just try the finger test…slide it in and do a little searching.  What’s the worst that could happen?

I think that this is why “doggie style” is so satisfying for a lot of women — it places the G-spot right in the line of fire.  And I notice the further I lean the top half of my body down and stick my ass further in the air, the more often his balls hit my clit.  That extra sensation is helpful, plus, I can reach my hand back between my legs and either work at myself or handle his balls (an extra sensation for him).

Another thing that works is when my husband rubs my clit with his hand or fingers while he fucks me.

Being on top works, too.  But oddly enough, for me, it isn’t as easy for me to come if I’m on top.  Maybe it’s because I have to focus too hard on my own actions instead of just letting myself cum.  The orgasms I have when I’m on top are pretty damn good though…just not as sloppy wet.  It takes, for me, grinding back and forth…but for him…the up and down is necessary, too.

Ultimately, comfort is important.  Bizarre or difficult-to-maintain positions or better left to pornography.  There it can be entertaining…even artful.  But, when I really want to cum – keeping it simple is best. Of course all of us are different.  What works for one, might not work for another.  It’s a matter of experimentation (oh, darn, right?).  These tips are what works for me – maybe you try it and like it…maybe you hate it.  Maybe, even, you think I’m full of shit…some folks would…

So, just for fun…here are a few articles about the G-spot NOT existing.  Silly, silly people.  Just because scientists can’t find it doesn’t mean it isn’t there!

Huffington Post – G-Spot Does Not Exist, “Without a Doubt”

Does the G-spot really exist?  Scientist can’t find it.

The Telegraph – So the G-spot doesn’t exist after all?  Thank god!

I feel bad for anyone who thinks it doesn’t exist.  That simply means you haven’t found it on your woman yet.  Or, more dreadfully, you haven’t found it on yourself.  Get thee to a masturbatorium and find the damn thing, already!  Your body (and your lover) will thank you for it.

What sex technique tips do you have to share?  I’m always up for trying something new – especially if it’s tried and true and effective for someone else.

Anyone here think the G-Spot is a figment of the imagination?

Have you found yours?  Tell us where it is!  Everyone is dying to know!

(Click here for a lovely visual gallery of sex positions.)

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