A few years ago – I don’t even remember when the first time occurred – I had my first noticeable female ejaculation. I don’t know what about that moment was different from any other moment in my sexual life that may have created the dynamic that made it possible for me to absolutely gush all over the sheets….but, it happened. And since then, it’s happened a lot more frequently. In truth, it’s only happened with my husband (what a trophy…he owns almost the sole rights to my waterfalls)…one other guy (I think)…and my own hand. Oddly enough, that other guy made it happen with only his hand, which I haven’t done with my husband – with him, it’s always been the dick, the whole dick, and nothing but the dick.
So, my question is – why? What the hell makes it happen…and why did it take so long to become a part of my sexual repartee? Seriously, mid-30s?
Here’s my theory…it’s all about trust, relaxation, and comfort.
I’ve had lots of good sex in my life, but I really didn’t start to relax or really enjoy my own body and what it could do or feel during sex until I was married. Before then, sad but true, it was as much an act as it was an event I enjoyed for my own pleasure. That’s not to say I was faking…because I wasn’t. But, orgasms were orgasms. Nothing much had changed since my early 20s. And I guess that comes from trying too hard to please my partner and measure up. It’s those silly insecurities that get in the way. That whole time I was trying to enjoy it and get off, I kept hearing in my ear (from my inner critic), “You need to react more….move this way…that way….yah – he likes that…keep doing that….what did you see in that one porn? He might like it if you did that now…” And this just kept going, on and on, in my brain during sex. It’s no freaking wonder coming was hard.
I met my husband in my late 20s. I was pretty sure I knew what I wanted. I had a plan. Turned out he was it. And as we’ve gotten to know each other sexually, we’ve gotten more and more comfortable. With that has come a change in my own self-image. I suppose having a child changed some things, too, both mentally and physically (especially internally). And interestingly, I didn’t start ejaculating until after I had a baby.
Like most women who do it, I’m not completely sure what triggers it. I don’t do it every time I have sex. But it seems the nights when I am especially horny and already sopping wet before we start, it’s quite likely to happen. Natural lubrication encourages it. And my state of mind has a lot to do with it. If my head is in the game, and I give myself over completely to the sex act, lose myself and offer every muscle and bone to it…then when I feel the orgasm start, rather than tightening up, constricting my thighs and my inner pubic muscles…I relax and just let the orgasm wash over me like blood-temperature water – it happens.
And when I feel the wetness seep around his dick and between by ass cheeks, making the bedsheets beneath me cool with dampness, I can’t help but smile (often it makes me giggle). I have no real control over it…but it’s a fun surprise.
I’ll admit, I hate sleeping in the wet spot…especially when I’m the one who made it, since my wet spots are so monumentally larger than the ones he leaves behind (takes a whole towel, folded in half, to stave off the seepage).
He’s told me he wants to “see” me do it…wishes I could do it when he goes down on me…but it really does seem to require penetration.
I mentioned earlier that another man did it with his hand. We were with another couple…in the middle of the living room floor, everyone naked and writhing…this other guy (who wasn’t in to actually having sex with another woman…just wanted his wife to have access to another man…and was cool with other sexual play) had his hand buried deep inside me. He was watching my husband fuck his wife, which I’m sure had him pretty hot and bothered…and his hand kept time with the event happening before him. I can’t remember if I was watching them fuck, but I was a little drunk, very turned on, and quite relaxed and comfortable in my own skin. Whatever he did with his fingers, somehow it went deep enough and curved just the right way to hit “the spot”. I’m not even positive if the spot that causes the gush is the same spot that causes the orgasm.
Whatever it is that causes it, it’s awesome. The orgasms I have when I come like that are always 10 times better than a “normal” one. That’s not to say that I don’t love an orgasm, regardless of how it comes about…but the messy ones are the sweetest…and they almost always require a dick – though I’ve done it with my own hand a time or two.
P.S. I have to admit…we just got an expensive new mattress…and due to my little “trick”, I spent an extra $125 on a really good mattress protector to keep it safe. It’s minutely embarrassing to admit that, but since I know my man loves it, I’m not gonna worry about it too awfully much. And no, the mattress pad doesn’t crinkle or make us feel like we’re sleeping in a toddler bed. Those things have come a long way – must be a few other women out there who have made them necessary.