Recently I was having a conversation with a man and his wife at a “meet and greet”. Our talk turned to bisexuality and why it seems so much more common for women than for men. He said something I found kind of funny at the time…but now I think it pretty much sums it up (for a lot of girls, anyhow): “Every woman who hasn’t already done it is just two or three drinks away from their first bisexual experience.”
I don’t know if that’s completely true, but I do feel that it comes quite naturally to women. Why? Well, we don’t have the social boundaries men do. We never have. In fact, if you go back in time, women often spent the majority of their lives with other women…ladies in waiting, maids, friends, sisters, mothers, aunts, governesses…you name it – women were relegated to the back seat…and they found solace in each others’ company.
When I was a kid, having slumber parties, I remember doing each others’ hair, giving each other back rubs…we just didn’t have the “touch” issues that so many men seem to have.
It seems to have become socially acceptable, and….it’s hot as hell. Why else would it be a mainstay in porn? There is, inevitabley an obligatory girl on girl scene in almost every feature length porn video. They really used to annoy me, but now, I see them as simply part of the package.
In the 90s, I remember girls “using it” to get guys. They’d make out in a bar for the specific purpose of turning on the guys and getting dates. I’m not really a fan of this method…and I think it kind of cheapens the whole thing, but then…I’m cheap and easy, so who am I to judge? Let’s face it, a lot of men love the sight. And girls aren’t stupid; they know how to use their bodies to get what they want.
Objectify me all you want. If it gets me where I want to go, it’s alright with me.
So, where is this post going? Well…I kind of wanted to explore how I got to where I am today…with women, that is.
It really wasn’t until college that I began to notice my propensity for “girl crushes”. In and of themselves, “girl crushes” aren’t always sexual in nature. It starts with admiration. But, it can blossom into more if you let it. There was one girl in particular…voluptuous hips, large breasts, black, curly hair, freckles, and bright green eyes. Add to that a wicked sense of humor and a heaping dose of intelligence – yah…I would’ve gone there. But, then, I was a young and insecure. There’s no way I would’ve had the guts to initiate anything.
Several years later, married, and exploring sexuality in a whole new way, I started to realize I was noticing the same girls my husband was…and I was enjoying it. We had (and still do) a great time
Fast forward to our very first “swinger” experience. On SLS, I had listed myself as “bi-curious”. I wasn’t really sure it was for me, but I was interested enough to give it a shot. I ended up making out with this woman, kissing her breasts, sucking her nipples, and going down on her – actions that were later reciprocated. And, much like a wild animal who gets a taste for blood, I was hooked.
No longer “curious”, I opened myself up to further experiences (which I’ve written about here). I don’t necessarily seek women out…but I find myself noticing them more and more. For example, it’s hard sometimes to focus at yoga class, when I’m on all fours, arching my back, staring at the ass in front of me that is pushed in the air like that of a cat in heat. Good freaking lord! I don’t know how men do it. And when I’m free to do what I want…around people “in the know”….it’s just part of what we do.
I love men. I married a man. I love their sharp angles, their strength and hardness. I like their musky scent and their power. But, the softness of a woman is delicious. Soft kisses, soft skin, soft folds. Going back and forth–from the powerful, domineering kiss of a man…tongue deep, lips strong…to the feather touch of a woman, tongue exploring and seductive. Why wouldn’t I want both? I’m all about having my cake and eating it, too.
I can’t imagine going back. I don’t even know what life was like before I kissed a girl.
Here are a few with you in mind, LJ. Enjoy.
While you listen, readers…please feel free to share your experiences or opinions on the topic. It’s interesting to hear how we all grow sexually. Can’t stand the thought of being with someone of the same sex? Tell us why. Always hand a hankering for the same sex? When did you know? How did it happen? Never tried it before, but want to? All the juicy details, please….