Anal Sex: unlocking the back door


Okay…I’ll admit it. I like it.


Not all the time, mind you…and I certainly would not be the first to bring it up, not that I have anything against those who do.  Well, okay…I think I asked for it once – but there were many glasses of wine that led up to that invitation.

My discomfort talking about it brings up a valid set of questions:
Do most women like anal sex, but are too embarrassed to request it or even talk about it?
Do most women want nothing to do with anal?
Are women asking for it all the time, and I’ve just been out of the loop?

I came across this article in my internet travels:
What Women Love & Hate About Anal

My guess is, many women who haven’t tried it would like to, but they are freaked out by it.  Porn has certainly made it more acceptable, but then we all know that porn is completely unrealistic.  Those girls douche like there is no tomorrow and have stretched their anuses to the max to accommodate the ass-poundings they get on-screen.

We normal gals do not anal douche or bleach our assholes on a regular basis (unless I’m missing something), and we are usually not camera ready all the time (on occasion, I do a fair number on myself in the grooming/shaving department when I know I will be having an “audience”).  That being said, anal sex is one of those things that one really MUST ask about before one delves in.

So, from a non-porn star point of view…what do I like about it?  Well, like the article says, it is a totally alien feeling, but, once I relax (and I must admit, it usually only happens after you’ve done it a few times), it can really feel quite good, especially if there is concurrent vaginal or clitoral stimulation (or both, better yet).  I’ve been known to masturbate with 3 toys…one anal, one vaginal, and one clitoral…and I must say, it is through-the-roof quick and explosive (which has its ups and downs).  It’s also sort of kinky, so if I’m in the mood to be naughty, it can lead to a sexy night of debauchery.  Since hubby and I do not indulge all the often, it means a twist to liven up the bedroom…and it can definitely make my husband happy (something about the tighter squeeze, I’m guessing…and of course – the forbidden nature of the act).   I also really enjoy “doggy style”… my ass in the air – hands on my hips – and so it’s seems natural to extend the action upward a bit.

And what do I hate about it? Well, it really does need to be slower than vaginal sex.  Even if I’m really lubed up, it just doesn’t feel good to go fast.  There is also the fear of “messiness”.  Self-confidence can be a huge issue for women (or anyone for that matter), and the cleanliness factor is a big deal.  When you’re trying to be sexy, the last thing you want to see is a penis covered in your own …

and we’ll just head into a new aspect of the topic from here.

Honestly, I’m not in the mood for it all the time.  But, when I am, it’s an interesting change.  I haven’t ever tried double penetration with two guys, but I have had my own man and a dildo…very lovely, I must say.  And dp is a bit of an interest, I’ll admit.

So, what about fingers?  That one isn’t as big of a deal…anymore.  The first few times my man tried it – back when we were first together…it made me a bit uncomfortable.  Mostly a self-confidence issue…b/c honestly, it always feels good.  Men, like it, too…from what I’ve seen – which I’m sure is an even bigger confidence issue for some of them – that whole – “will she think I’m gay because I like the feeling of a finger up my ass” conundrum.  No, I will not.  Why?  Because I’ve had a finger up my ass and I know what it feels like…so of course I know you like it.  But, I get it.  I don’t like to admit it either, so I don’t blame you.

But why is that?  Why are some of us so freaked out about the back door?  Is it the “dirtiness” factor?  The “naughty” factor?  The taboo?  Probably a bit of everything.

All I can say is…it’s worth a shot.  My husband worked his way in a little at a time, literally.  First, he’d just rub his finger tips across.  Then he’d push his finger around it.  Then, if I didn’t protest, he’d slip it in just a tiny bit.  If I squirmed too much, he’d back off and never miss a beat, but if I did react, he’d continue.


We call it “fight club”.  And the first rule of fight club is…you don’t talk about fight club.  Or at least that’s how we play the game.

So, how about you?  Girls – do you like it, love it, hate it?  Guys?  Anyone have stories, advice, tips, secrets…Do tell!  Feel free to comment.

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By Brigit Delaney

Welcome to my little corner of the internet! I am a blogger, poet, photographer, and writer of erotica, living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I'm glad you came. Sit back, kick off your shoes, and stay awhile.

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