The dating game is complicated. Gotta find a place to meet someone. Gotta meet someone. Gotta figure out how to get that someone outta his or her pants. Gotta decide whether to leave before morning or stay until the sun comes up and do the walk of shame in last night’s clothes. Gotta decide when to call or whether to call at all.
Now. Add two more people to the mix. Two of you know what you like, what you want, how to do it, how to get it from each other. The other two know the same things about each other. But, the game just got way more convoluted…two girls, two guys…finding a couple that both of you find hot – enough to fuck. And then there’s the rules. Who’s allowed to do what to whom? Who’s gonna get it started? It’s like brokering a sex deal from the get-go. You need a manager to get the best deal…so no one gets upset and everyone gets screwed.
The nice thing about “dating” in pairs is that no one goes home alone. Even if it’s all a bust, everyone will go home and get laid. And that sort of takes the pressure off. There really is nothing to lose and everything to gain when you “date” as a team. You can psyche each other up, cheer each other on, pull each other out of the ring for a pep talk, take turns…you name it. I feel a lot safer having sex with some guy I barely know when my husband’s right there. Something goes wrong and I know he’s got my back.
Besides, the weird thing with swinging is that is really does seem to be the girls who are in charge. The guys often take care of the set up (at least in our relationship)…the emailing, the contacting, etc. But, when we get together, it often seems that the girls are the ones who get the actuall sex act started. Maybe it’s because it’s so much easier. And it’s an obvious invitation to the gentlemen (though I think they like to sit back and watch for a bit, just to enjoy the goings on).
An added benefit is you get to talk about it later. What worked, what didn’t, what you’ll do again. Hours and hours of pillow talk and imagery to feast on until the next time. For us, swinging is a “sometimes treat.” We don’t have a lot of time…nor do we have a ton of money to travel. But, when we get lucky enough to find some people like us who just like to have a good time, there’s fun to be had by all.
So, how do I get ready? The same way I would for any date…just hoping I’ll get to fuck three people tonight instead of one.