“I was a porn virgin”

I remember the first time I saw actual porn.  I was rooting around in the linen closet for a beach towel.  Since they were the biggest ones, used the least, they were on the bottom.  So, I pulled from the bottom of the stack, trying hard to avoid knocking the whole terry cloth tower over when, lo and behold, a collection of magazines fell at my feet.

I must’ve been around 9 or 10.  Of course, I knew they belonged to my father.  And I wondered briefly, even at that young age, why on earth he was stupid enough to keep them in a place so easy to find.

Anyhow, I glanced through them, mouth agape, eyes wide in curiosity, and placed them back where I found them.  I may have gone back to them a time or two…but at some point, they mysteriously disappeared…forever.

I also remember the first time I watched porn on film…not the racy, erotic thrillers I have come to love, nor the romantic types of film that have some steamy sex scenes.  Actual porn.  I was in college…my first year.  I’d had a conversation with my then boyfriend about the fact that I’d never actually watched a real porn film.  I wanted to, just to see what the buzz was all about, but I was too chicken to go into the video store, behind the red curtain (why are they always red?) in the back.  I didn’t want to be seen.  It made me feel like some sort of perverted creeper, hiding in the shadows, lurking.  So, I sent him.  Which, while it may have saved me the embarrassment of purchasing the film, it meant I was at the mercy of his selection.

Needless to say, the film sucked.  We didn’t even make it through 20 minutes.  And it did nothing for my libido.

Things have changed a lot.  For me.  But not much for the industry.  I like this particular quote from chapter 3: “When visiting stores in person, it takes a conscious effort to enter the porn section for the first time, and as a woman be prepared that most men who are browsing before you came in will flee….If you decide to go into an adults-only store where you’ll have a better selection, men may not flee, but you might be the only woman in sight, and it can feel…conspicuous.Then again, you could be surprised to see other women and couples shopping for porn and sex toys: it’s happening more and more every year.”

It is.  Here in my small corner of the world, I don’t see it as much, though the people who work in our local “adults-only” store are usually female.  Even so, I rarely see women in the store shopping.  On the other hand, in the bigger cities, I notice a healthy number of couples perusing the dildos and dirty DVDs.  Maybe the stigma is less in a bigger city because the likelihood of running into someone you know is so much smaller.  I know that I feel much more comfortable shopping for adult items in a place where I don’t think I might run into to someone I’ve seen at work or have a connection with through small town networks.

Another quote that caught my attention was: “Our culture is so packed with sexual shame that whenever I walk into a jack shack to find a DVD, the men run for cover, leaving me free to take my sweet time shopping for my next rental.”  Jack shack.  Now that makes me laugh.

Adult DVD Talk
Check this site out for information, reviews, and discussion of adult film.

I personally tend to prefer soft-core, NC-17 type films.  Things that involve an element of heavy sexuality without being clinical or close-up.  Something with real story, emotion, and depth.  I like to escape into the sex AND the story.  But then, intellect turns me on.  (Take, for example, The Reader)

Related Tangent:  I went to a night club once.  I was single at the time, and hanging out with some friends, drinking beer.  A guy walked by who caught my eye.  I up-and-downed him once or twice.  And later that night he approached me with some sort of line like, “I saw you check me out.”  I decided to run with it, because he was delicious.  I ended up making out with him in the parking lot, exchanging numbers, and then engaging in a “booty call” type of “relationship”.  He was darling, but empty-headed.  It would never have lasted, because without the brains, the sex can only go so far in satisfying my deeper cravings.

Porn is a lot like delicious man.  Simple, redundant, unexceptional in all areas except for the sex, formulaic, and much less impressive inside than the package leads you to expect.

Some soft-core, main stream films suggested by the author:  Basic Instinct, Bound, Body of Evidence, Better than Chocolate, Caligula, Crash, The Fluffer, The Hunger, A History of Violence, Holy Smoke, Jade, Kama Sutra, Last Tango in Paris, 9 1/2 Weeks, Secretary, Belle de Jour, Betty Blue, Emmanuelle, Fanny Hill, The Pillow Book, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Sex and Lucia, Tokyo Decadence

Happy viewing!

The Lustful Literate

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