• Books & Reading

    The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn…ch.2

    Favorite quotes from this chapter: “Like Hollywood stars, porn stars are overblown caricatures of contemporary culture’s ideals and inhabit a tiny end of the gene pool.  The actors are all very limber, and can withstand extended periods of sex in difficult positions under hot lights.  They shave their balls, wax their asses, and sometimes wear makeup on virtually every inch of their bodies…and still perform.” “…I think that precisely because it’s so far away from reality, most of the industry’s purported “ideal” that stars embody isn’t what actually turns most of us on.”  (Maybe this is why so many women have so much trouble finding porn we like; I think…

  • Experience

    Sexsomnia

    Mmmmm…such a nice, warm, soft, comfortable bed…just the right position…sigh.  Dead asleep.  Dreaming.  And suddenly, I feel a hand sliding between my legs, searching out the magic button.  I have two options:  smack it and tell it to go back to sleep, or roll over and let it happen.  Some nights, I succumb, willingly and happily.  Other nights, I want to beat the crap out of him with a pillow for waking me from my perfect slumber. My husband is a sexsomniac.  We didn’t even know what that was until a few months ago, but now that we do, he now has a convenient excuse for waking me up in…

  • Books & Reading

    The Smart Girls Guide to Porn…

    Chapter One:  “What a Smart Girl Wants” Okay, a few days ago, I did a post inspired by the introduction of this book by Violet Blue (see my links for her site).  Then, I promptly read the 1st chapter and began to mull over the issues and ideas she presents. I will first say that the book itself does not hold much “new” information for me yet.  Nor is it written with any particularly astounding style or craft, but I did appreciate a few points that have been made so far: 1)  Women watch, enjoy, and want more from their porn. 2)  Desire, for women, is NOT all in our…

  • Experience,  Opinion

    Smart Girls and Sex

    So what do smart girls want? Unfortunately, a lot of girls, smart ones included, have little clue.  But that isn’t a surprise; not a lot of stock has been put into what women really want (sexually speaking) in mainstream media…or even porn.  Sure, there was the sexual revolution…but that just put the message out there that having sex was healthy and fun.  And yes, there’s been The Joy of Sex and Dr. Ruth and romance novels out the wazoo (which is a whole weird culture that I didn’t think I understood until now – but I’ll get to that in a moment).  But there hasn’t been a completely open sexual…

  • Blogging & Writing,  Experience

    Sex Blogging

    So I’ve traversed the sex blog neighborhood enough to finally get some sense of what it is I like most about erotic writing/blogging: beauty (visual and literary), perceived honesty, detail, and simplicity.  I must have viewed a hundred different sites over the last few days, only to “follow” or link to a carefully chosen few.  They run the gamut from tame to fetish to literary to dark to humorous.  But they all have beauty in common.  Of course, as we all know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe you won’t agree. I can say that in my internet travels, I have seen sex in it’s ugliest…

  • Experience

    Experience: Friends with Benefits?

    Mmmm…they’re my favorite kind.  Most of the time.  As long as the benefits come drama-free.  For example, we have some friends that we love to hang out with…our kids know each other, we enjoy drinks and dancing  together, and on occasion – a little bump and grind…naked, between the sheets. But then, there are the friends who can’t seem to leave their drama at home.  For example… There’s this couple with whom I’ve been friends for years.  In fact, I knew them before I even knew my husband.  We’d go out dancing and drinking and dining every Friday night.  Mr. Couple insinuated early on that he found me attractive.  Mrs.…

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