Archeology

Everyone has hidden desires. Everyone imagines more than they will admit. Everyone. But, sometimes, caving to the risk of being discovered is the ultimate freedom. It’s like letting go of a lie. Becoming the truth. Even if it means an inevitable loss of cover.

I’m not quite that brave, yet. I choose to remain anonymous. But, I’m opening my mouth. Wide.

This blog is intended to give voice to my alter ego. The side that does, says, writes, and feels what might otherwise be unacceptable in the day-to-day life I lead. Erotic fiction and poetry, book and movie reviews, links, lists, personal essay, etc.

On the eve of this Pagan new year…I make the resolution to dig into the deepest ravines of my closed psyche; because even I don’t know what I will find.

I’m a “normal” woman…a wife, a mother, a daughter, and friend. I have a rigid career that expects I be better than the people with whom I work, and the pressure of being a role model in a small town like mine can be stifling, especially when you play “on the other side of the tracks”.

I like sex. With myself. With my husband. With others.

I like reading and writing about sex.

I like watching it.

Not unlike most of you. Not unlike a lot of people who wouldn’t admit it or whom might find talking about it distasteful or indecent.

I say, “Bring it.”

So let’s call this an archeological site. Together we will be exploring some of the most sought after items in history – answers to the question – what do women really want? – what do they desire? – why? But since I am only one woman…I can only claim to know, really, what I want…what I desire. So I guess this is more an exploration of myself, in a very public forum. My secret life exposed.

I remember years ago reading a collection by Anais Nin, Delta of Venus. It was written for a wealthy male patron for $1.00 per page. His request was that she delve into what was at the core of the female mind. He wanted a woman’s most secret desires and thoughts splayed before him on the page. He lusted for it, and continued to push her further to divulge even more detail and more examination…more…more. In the quest to fulfill his pleading search, she created a new language of sexuality, a way of speaking about sex that was purely feminine: raw, rich, seductive, and innocent. It transformed the genre or literary erotica; I’d go as far as to say that it put it on the map.

So let’s call you my wealthy patron, and let’s start digging.