“A distinction must be made between that writing which enables us to hold on to life even as we are clinging to old hurts and wounds and that writing which offers to us a space where we are able to confront reality in such a way that we live more fully. Such writing is not an anchor that we mistakenly cling to so as not to drown. It is writing that truly rescues, that enables us to reach the shore, to recover.” —Bell Hooks
Though you may not guess it by my blathering on about the most intimate details of my life, I’m a pretty private person in my day-to-day life.
I live in a small, rural town in the Pacific Northwest. Nestled between mountains and sea, I am part of a community (socially and professionally) that would never accept me for the person that I’m allowed to be here.
So, to my few dear readers, I thank you for the opportunity to share, and grow, and create, with you by my side. Just knowing that you are out there, lurking silently or commenting openly, makes me feel connected.
What I Write About
Here at brigitdelaney.com, I write mainly about sex as it pertains to the most important facets of my life: marriage, aging, hormones, and mental health.
My husband and I have had a lot of ups and downs, two near-divorces, and seemingly continual bumps in the road. But, at the center of it all, our foundation is made of a pretty intense love that holds us together and keeps us from giving up. We don’t have an easy relationship, and I write often about our struggles. I don’t have the answers to what makes a marriage work, and I can’t tell you how to make things easier for you and yours. We’re often a hot mess over here, and I make no apologies for sharing. However, I think the common narrative is that marriage should be easy, or you’re doing it wrong.
That isn’t true. And none of us should feel bad if our relationship isn’t perfect. No one’s is. And it they claim it is, they’re lying.
Instead, when I share my experience, my aim is to lay it on the line, vulnerably and honestly, sharing my faults and weaknesses, exploring ways to approach them, accept them, change them…whatever. The idea is to acknowledge that we all have room for growth and that all loving and safe relationships can be improved.
We’ve tried various forms of non-monogamy and are continuously tripping our way up, down, and through a “sort-of” D/s-ish marriage. I write about that quite a bit, as both have offered their share of difficulty and comfort over the years.
This is real shit here. Nothing about our life glitters or glows. We’re parents with stressful jobs who perpetually need a vacation that we can’t afford. We’re both going to school, and we both struggle with depression and libido issues (his is crazy high most of the time, and mine is often crazy low, but as we age and try new hormone therapies, it’s pretty unpredictable…and therefore pretty infuriating).
You might want to read this post for more information: Why I Blog About My Sex Life.
A few other popular personal experience posts are:
Processing Emotions about Polyamory,
14 Qualities of a Good Dominant,
Sexiness is a State of Mind,
Fact vs. Fiction in D/s,
The Sweet Spot,
Initiating Sex (Active Submission),
What’s in a Name? (How D/s Labels Can Help Us Find Ourselves),
What Makes Sex Better than Good?
I have quite a few pieces of erotic fiction here, as well as links to audio versions of some of those stories on my podcast, Brigit’s Erotic Bedtime Stories. My most viewed and commented-on stories are:
I’m currently struggling through The 💯 Story Challenge. Check my links above to see where I’m at with that project.
There’s also The Erotic Journal Challenge. I’d love for you to join me. You can find prompts here, on Instagram, and on Twitter. The links are above.
In addition to all that, I dabble in erotic photography, poetry, sex toy reviews, writing for other people’s memes and challenges, and I’m currently in my 2nd year as a jury member for Blogable’s Fiction Marathon.
Check out this article I wrote for them: Get Ready to Craft Your Best Stories for the Fiction Marathon.
I don’t always keep to my writing schedule. Expect periodic absences, as my life takes over quite a bit. I work full time, go to school, am a mom and wife, and sometimes I just get tired of writing and take a break from the website. Because of this, comments ebb and flow, and readers come and go. The good ones stay and build relationships that I have come to cherish.
I write about what I want to, when I want to, and how I want to. Sometimes it isn’t even sexy. In fact, quite the opposite.
I enjoy engaging with others and getting feedback and comments…so please feel free and welcome! Writing can be a lonely hobby, and I share my writing both here and on other people’s pages in an effort to make connections with other like-minded folks.
I’m happy to have you along for the ride!